Why is it that I just feel more and more useless? Some days I don’t feel like doing anything (today was that sort of day), and I don’t have much willpower. What it comes down to, is me sitting around glooming. You know? And it gets me thinking… “what if?” . I keep thinking stuff like “what if I only had *insert “if” here*, then maybe things would’ve been different”. The worst thing is feeling like if you could only —, then you would’ve been perfect. There are so many people around me who are good at a certain thing, while I can’t decide what I should advance in! I can’t! How could I? It’s sort of like this: I need a reason to get up in the morning, I need something to entertain myself, I don’t wanna get bored again”… Am I that impatient? I know, patience is gold and everything… I’ve always prefered silver, though. Colorwise. There are so many things… I’d like to become better at. I’ll typeset them here.
I’d like to become stronger! Mentally! I’m way too weak… It’s rather annoying. I want to become a better singer (I suck D: Almost everyone around are better… GRAHHHH) , I want to learn how to speak japanese fluently (OMFG I need to send in the papers for EF…. I’m dying here! TOMORROW, DO IT TOMORROW!) , I want to become better in english, I want to become better at voice acting… And I want to start writing again. But I lack inspiration, and for the time being, creativity. And last, but definitely not least, I want to show that person that I’ve changed!
I swam in the sea today ^^ I love the sea above … A LOT of things. I adore it. The feeling, when you dive into the depts and water is all around you, you can touch the soft sand below you, see the sunbeams streaming down from above and you’re alone on an entire beach… That’s when life is worth living. Hell, if I see a fish (I sorta have a thing for them… They inspire me in a weird way xD) I’m on cloud 9~!
